I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
