please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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