Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
