I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
