In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
