Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
