we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
