His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize