So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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