so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
