i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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