Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
