too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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