Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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