Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
