God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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