Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
