Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize