Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
