im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
