How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
