a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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