I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
