your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize