is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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