Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
