well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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