Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
