Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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