so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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