i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
