Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
