Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
