he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Alive.
So much puke
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
