she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize