I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
