I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
