I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
