Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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