I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I supernannyed him into submission
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
