Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
