Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
