Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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