I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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