Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
