I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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