I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
