we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
