Three words: puerto rican gang bang
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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