I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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