Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
