you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
