The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
