I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
