Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
