I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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