just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
