you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
