he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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