I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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