I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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