That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
