he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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