I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
