I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
