Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
