I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she looked like the before picture.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
