I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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