Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His hands were made for my vagina.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
